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Childless through choice
New research from Edith Cowan University has shown that childless couples choose not to have children rather than being influenced by biological reasons. Paul Murray spoke to Dr Bronwyn Harman from ECU's Department of Psychology.
Michelle (12.10pm comment). I am a bit bemused that you expect people not to make assumptions and judge you on your life choices, yet you do exactly that for people who have pets when you write, "I do not have pets, so I am not compensating in another area." I do not have children by choice a decision I made aged 14 (I am now 50) but I do have pets. I dislike people assuming they must be compensation for my lack of children. I do not baby them they are genuinely companion animals that amplify my life in so many ways, unconditionally. Please treat others with the respect of their choice as you expect others to do for your choices in life. Choice is the key word here.Jill Thursday 13 September, 2012 - 2:31 PM
Well, I made a "lifestyle" choice to have a child as I and my partner were well positioned, I thought, financially and socially.
Unfortunately, no matter how well planned and intentioned a decision, life does not follow a programmed trajectory.
We're not perfect and neither are our children. It's called being human.
And if I knew then what I know now, would I have made the same decision...I don't know.Dellas Monday 10 September, 2012 - 5:42 PM
Good for you Michelle... and other sensible adults in the same position! I can't understand the 'selfish' label that is put on childless by choice couples. Surely in this day and age we should all ultimately take control of our own lives. Deciding not to have children is a far more mature decision than those that randomly reproduce with the means to support their offspring... then bleat about their "rights" and what the Government should be doing for them!
I, by the way have 3 wonderful children with my husband... our choice, and we both work to support them. We should all stop judging others and respect each other instead.
Parenthood is (great, but...)hard.... don't do it if you're not 100% committed!!Mum... by choice Thursday 6 September, 2012 - 2:52 PM
I respect a woman's right to choose to have children. I decided I did not want children however I ended up with one, which I regret because he has given me so much heartache & tears and yet I love him so much. In hindsight I should not have listened to my (then) partner and I would not be in the position I am today.CK Thursday 6 September, 2012 - 1:46 PM
Well said Michelle (below) and good on you for standing up for what you believe in and not letting others try and influence you. I think the main problem here is most people sterotype and when women get to their 30's everyone starts to feel sorry for them if they don't have children yet because this is the "normal" thing to do. I think most people feel they have to say something encouraging like there is still time, or your time will come, without actually asking if that is what the woman/couple want. I don't think it is a selfish decision at all not to have children. The world is already way overpopulated and just having children for the sake of it or because people think this is what society expects is the selfish choice. I think people should mind their own business and let others run their own lives themselves.Chick of Perth Wednesday 5 September, 2012 - 2:01 PM
I am a women in my mid 40's who chose very early in life not to have children. When I have told people this, they assume I must have had a traumatic childhood.Very much the opposite.I had a wonderful upbrining, with great parents.I am not a career women nor do I have any health issues which prevent me.It was just a personal choice. I love other people kids, I just prefer being able to give them back. I do not have pets, so I am not compensating in another area.When I discuss it with other women, I am STILL being told, "well, there is still time" I say, at my age, the time has passed, and I am comfortable with that. I am also very lucky that I have a partner, of a similar age, who has the same outlook. He to has never wanted kids, so there has never been any pressure.I also have 2 very close friends,and they to, have opted not to have children.It is not as rare as some people think.To those women who say I am selfish, i say to them why do you believe I MUST have children? Doesn't that go against everything that womens rights is all about, forcing me into a situation, that I don't want to be in?Michelle Wednesday 5 September, 2012 - 12:10 PM